1 Step @ A Time

On 13-December-2009, we are officially together.

It just a normal conversation in the car, which started with i asked him how do i introduce him to my relatives on my dad pre-wedding dinner. Do i intro him as my "boyfriend"?? He asked me back whether i'm ready yet to go ahead. I told him "Yes". Then, he hold my hand. So, i'm consider attached now, then...

According to him, it kinda fast for me to go into a new relationship right now. So, do i need to reconsider again my answer of "Yes"!?!?!

See how's thing goes...take each steps at a time..small steps. No rush...enjoy the journey. 

Sometimes when you least expected..LOVE HAPPENS

Everyday is a surprise when you least expected it. Life can be beautiful when you treat it as it is new every morning. God has been good and He always will.

It was such a sweet feeling knowing that there is someone who care alot about you. Without failed, his sms/emails had been brightening my days. I just hope that he will continue doing it in spite of his busyness in office.

We been going out almost every weekend, either for movies or just a simple lunch. Until last weekend, i decide to tell him that it good that you ask permission from my dad first before we steps further. I do share with him that i'm looking for someone to settle down, a long term relationship. Since it was his 1st, better make our focus sync before we take another step. He told me he also not looking for short-term relationship.
He asked me whether i still need more time, i told him that "i'm ready". So,since he fetching me back home, we decide to meet my dad for dinner and he will ask for permission & blessing from my dad. Great!!

I really very happy that he take the initiative to do it. Such a gentleman!! That one of the reason that make me fall for him.

One of the conversation we had in the car, after the movie "LOVE HAPPENS"...

me: Thanks for fetching me back, though it very far for you. You can just drop me off at jetty. 

bk:  I'm not going to drop you at jetty, not a chance!!
me: Thank you.   *so touch* (^.^)

Finally, meet the parent session. We reach home, my dad was waiting for us and we go for dinner.
After dinner, i asked him again, "if you're not yet ready and not comfortable to ask my dad, you still can do it later" He replyed back, "It's a good opportunity to ask now". He go ahead as plan and asked my dad. Yeah, my dad give us the blessing but with a short interview with him. Anyway, it went well.

More surprises to come, dad invite BK for his pre-wedding dinner at my house. Time to meet the relatives, have to keep on praying!

D.E.C.E.M.B.E.R

December always be a month fills with excitement, expectation and of course busyness. This year is no difference.

Busyness...
On 27th Dec, my dad's going to remarriage during the Christmas weekend. Glad that my dad found a companionship, at least someone to accompany him during his old ages. Hence, i will be very busy for the coming next 3 weeks. With so many preparation to do, to come up with a slide show for church ceremony, reception table seating list, etc,etc,etc...and the list goes on.


Expectation....
December also a month which we all will get our bonuses and hopefully an increments. It been 2 years since my last increment. Due to the economy downturn last year, our increment was freeze. Waiting earnestly for it.


Excitement...
Most important, December also a month to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. All christians will celebrate CHRIST-MAS together, declaring to the world our Saviour was born to brings HOPE, JOY and PEACE to this world. Many people still think Christmas is about Santa, Presents, Reindeers, which is a gimmick the media trying to use. Let's us not forget the very true meaning of CHRISTMAS, celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Saviour. Let His Glory and L♥VE fills the whole earth this season....

Movie Day

It Wednesday, it's movie day!!

Going to watch Planet 51 this evening. Wonder what the show is all about...will it be similar to my favourite "Shrek".

Anyway, looking forward to have a great time with the cgies :D

Three days HOliday

Day One

First day of holiday. Went to Qbay for shopping. Bro wanted to buy shirts for Dad's wedding ceremony. Since, there is BIG SALE, must as well take advantage of it and get some bargains. Had lunch @Azuma, utilizing my Azuma VIP card with 10% discount on non-promotional items only. The total bill come up to 90++. Dad treat!!

After lunch, we went home and spend the whole afternoon laying around, watching astro and dinner was at home. Such a boring day!! Not productive at all...

Day Two

Slept until my dad wake me up as the temporary maid came over to clean the house. Though of sleeping until lunch time. What to do...wake up and supervise the maid to clean & tidy the house.

I was on duty this weekend, so going early to church for practice, together with my bro. Both of us drove one car and Dad will be driving my car to fetch my aunt to go back to her daughter's place and straight to church. After service, left my car in church and we all go back in one car.

Day Three

Exciting day, pack with lunch, movie and dinner appointment. Was in church for duty in the morning. BK said he will come over AV room to help me on video control and he did but a little bit late....

After service, looking for cg members to go lunch with. None of my CGies are around and end up going lunch with BK only. Went to New World Park and met Darrell together with Selene and one of her friend. BK and me join in. We chitchat, asking how's everyone doing. Suddenly, Selene asked BK, whether he got gf or not. Straight away, BK answered "No".

Later in the car..., BK asked me what i think of Selene's question.

Me: What question?? *still blur*
BK: Selene's question on whether i have gf or not?!?!
Me: Oh, that one. You said "NO" already!!
BK: Should have said "Working On It"
Me: *laughs*

I find our relationship is getting weird though. Both of us knew we like each others but can't take a step further. Funny!!

After lunch, BK and me went to 1-Stop as he wants to check out the Popular SALE but end up not buying anything there. Then, we went to gurney for our movie "2012". The cineplex was packed and there is long queue at the F&B counters. We waited about 20min to buy our drinks. Really glad that BK brought the tickets the day before. He's utilizing his birthday treat, free movie ticket. The movie duration was 245 hours, such a draggy movie. Half way through, i got boring already. Find the movie is so-so only. Not to my expectation.

Then, We went to pulau tikus market for lok-lok. After that, i want to have dessert, so BK bring me to Crepe Cottage @Gurney which is owned by his friend's aunty. Before we decide on this place, BK was considering, if he bring me there, means that his friends will knows about us. After a mutual agreement, we went ahead...

We reached there and BK ordered Mango Ice creme pancake...called "MANGO CUP". It was delicious, good choice. ~Yum!~Yum!

To my relieve, his friend was not around. At first, bit worried, as it was my first time meet his friend. After dessert, he send me back to pick up my car and we went home.

Does this consider a date? Anyway, had a good time with him. :D

When one chapter end, another chapter begins...

It has been a smooth journey so far from in-relationship to singlehood, recuperating and freedom (to do what i can't do when i'm attached). With more time for myself, i wanted to concentrate more on my ministry, especially my CG.

By occupy myself with many activities, times just passes so fast...1 week, then 3 weeks, then 1 month....

During these times...

i started to develop a close friendship with BK. I've shared with him what happen to me and S, the reason behind the breakup, life after the breakup and so on. Gradually, both of us begin to communicate more often and exchanging emails and sms every alternate days. Recently, we started to spend more time with each others, went for movies, have dinner after work.

At first, i didn't sense anything special until few weeks ago, i find his care toward me is more than just a friend's concern. He begins to share with me his lifestyle, his personal preferences, and everythings a guy will share with someone he likes.

I'm curious and wanted to ask him, but too shy to do so.

It was at the moment, when both of us chatting during a retreat, He told me he likes me. I was stunned and speechless. So surprise that i cannot think of any words to response.
After a long pause, i told him "I'm not ready yet, can wait until next year?"...later, he reply me "I can wait"

I thank God for the wonderful blessing. I'm still praying whether BK is the right one or not. Is he the one God plan for me? Am i prepare to start a new relationship yet? Is his feeling towards me is true? There are so many doubts and blank, blank, blank...

Although there is chemistry between both of us, but it will not be the reason to get into this relationship. Maybe it can, but not in God's perspective. In everything, God's confirmation and peace are more important than just feeling alone. I pray, not only pray, seek God with all my heart, all my mind and all my soul. So i can be still to listen to His voice.

I want to take it slow and wait upon God's timing.

It's ended...

Hence, i decided to tell S that i'm not going to KL. That means we ended our relationship of 4 years. Although i told him i wanted to have 3 months of cooling period and let him know my decision in December. Somehow, after one and half months down the road, i finally made-up my mind and give him my final answer. He was calm when i wrote to him in msn and replied me back with "I expected it". Seem that he also prepared.

It have been a bitter less separation(as on my side) and both of us still able to remain as friends. That the part which i felt bit relieved that this separation will not be the last time i see/chat with him.

These 4 years with him have been a roller-coaster ride. We been through up and down together, learning to respect and support each others in the process. I do cherish the time we spend with each others. Thank you for his comfort and care for me during my most saddest moments as well as happier ones.

Although our relationship ended but i do hope that he will continue to do what God have called him upon, which i think he will. I know he will do greater things for God and go as far as the Lord brings him.

Will continue to keep you in prayer!!

Overwhelmed !

I'm overwhelmed...
By His grace & mercy,

I'm overwhelmed...
By His timely blessing,

I'm overwhelmed...
By His answered prayer,

I'm overwhelmed...
By His wonderful presence,

I'm overwhelmed...
By His everylasting LOVE,
A LoVE that surpasses all understandings...

Pillow Talk

It been awhile didn't have a pillow talk session.

Last two days, had this opportunity to overnight at Bev's place. We had our pillow talk session till late night. We share, we chat, we pour out our feeling and thought, our curiosity. Most of all, we did share everything under the moon...haha!! After today, i really get to know her more, her past, her struggle in her new lifestyle.
i shared with her my relationship with S, my decision on the cooling period as well as the "little angel".

Sometimes, it feels so good to share with someone your truth feeling and presenting your true self. No barrier, no boundary.

Although with lack of sleep and struggle to wake up in the morning. I felt nice to have a sister to share my thought and struggle. To know that someone is praying for you. Someone to remind you and gives you advice.

First month

It been a month since i make the decision to have 3 months of separation. The 1st 2 weeks was hard, it just like my life falling apart. Losing the most important piece of puzzle.

Gradually, it turn out to be alright after all. With the support from my CGies and of course, it the love of Christ that penetrate every sadness and loneliness.

1 month progress:

- much more happier
- more relax & less worries
- have more freedom to do what i can't do before.

When i share with a sister, she told me this, once a friend asked her this question.

When pray for a life partner, you have 2 choice:

1. God's choose.
2. Commit your requests to God, and pray about it.

She pick the second choice, what she did is she wrote down all the requirement and uphold it to God and pray about it. God will make everything beautiful in His timing. Indeed, this sister did marriage the man with all the requirements she wrote down and prayed.

I will come back again to this question after the end of 3 months. Right now, it time to pray for God's guidance for wisdom and clear mind to do the right thing.

~Sunrise & Sunset~

Inspiration came from Lamentations 3:21-24

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

As the sun rises every morning & sets every evening without fail, so does the grace of God never fails in my life.